Rach, Mich & Baby M’s Story
What was sleep like before we worked together?
Sleep (if you can even call it that!) for us was really hard from around 5 months. We would put M to bed knowing that we had around 30-40 mins to make and eat dinner before she would do her first false start of the night; she would then wake anywhere from every 10 mins to two hours all night long. If we wanted any sort of rest, we would sleep in the armchair with her, just to get some longer stretches. Day naps were all contact, and if she fell asleep in the car, there was no hope in a successful transfer.
How was it impacting you or your family?
Those months before we worked with you were rough; I would say some of the darkest moments I have ever experienced. The sleep deprivation was unreal, and we have no village around to help. We were surrounded by antenatal friends who had babies sleeping 7-7 etc and felt like we had no one to talk to about our struggles, and even when we did no one would understand, or we were just bombarded with the classic “have you tried this” etc. We were just constantly questioning what was wrong with her, or what we were doing wrong? The sleep deprivation, the parental guilts and the lack of looking after ourselves took a real toll on us both.
What was your experience of working together?
I don’t even know where to begin. We loved working with you Fran, and genuinely looked forward to our weekly catch-ups. At first, we were terrified; the thought of giving her more awake time felt hard and wrong, but we had confidence in you, and we are so happy we pushed through the first hard weeks and carried on. You gave us so much reassurance and guidance and the skills to implement changes once we finished working with you. You are a real-life sleep angel.
How are things looking now?
How is sleep feeling? Sleep is incredible now, so much easier and more manageable. We still have night wakes, but it’s 1 or 2 max, and they are so easy to manage. Resettles before could take anywhere from 10-40mins, and then she would wake again shortly after. Now the settles take a few minutes, and they are in her own bed, so no need to stress about waking on transfer etc. We don’t have the fear of danger naps anymore, or that she must be down at a certain time. We know her sleep totals now and will work off at that. I think the biggest takeaway from working with you is understanding how insanely low sleep needs she is, so we know she can handle an extra 30 minutes- 1 hour awake time if we really need to because a nap happens early etc.
What has been the biggest positive change for your family?
Me and Mitch finally have time together again. Before working with you, one of us would be stuck in the room with her off and on all night trying to get her back to bed. We didn’t watch tv together for SO long. Now we can actually hang out together again and reconnect because we no longer get false starts and our nights are so much more predictable.
Was there anything that surprised you during the process?
Finding out how low sleep needs she is! For so long we thought she was overtired and assumed she had high sleep needs. We offered her more sleep and held on to three naps for far too long – oh how wrong we were!
What would you say to another parent who is thinking about reaching out for support?
Don’t delay it! Your baby is not broken, and neither are you. Fran will give you the skills and confidence to “fix” the issues, and the sooner you do it, the better, because you will be equipped to sort the next problems as they arise! Fran is so full of knowledge and quite literally repaired our little family. Sleep does not have to be hard, and you don’t have to use old CIO methods to have this happen.
