The unregulated baby sleep industry

The sleep space is heavily unregulated, and that scares me.

It’s the wild west out there. Anyone can call themselves a sleep consultant with no training or qualifications whatsoever.

Some people may have done a day-long course and got a certificate, and others are just sharing how they “successfully” sleep trained their own baby. Regardless, these kinds of sleep consultants are selling a copy-and-paste, one-size-fits-all plan to parents with no evidence to back it up.

The majority of parents seeking support are very much in a sleep crisis. They are beyond exhausted and just want a solution to get more sleep, which makes them vulnerable to untrained sleep "specialists” who often give out unsafe sleep advice, tell parents they have created bad habits or sleep challenges they are struggling with and then blame parents whose babies don’t respond to their methods. Parents walk away from this with little to no confidence, feeling even more defeated than when they reached out for support. It breaks my heart, honestly.

It’s absolutely outrageous that there are sleep consultants out there selling strict age-based sleep schedules or only offeringa copy and paste method, like Ferber, and thinking that will work for every single child because it just doesn’t. If it did, I would be out of business. Every child is so unique; what works beautifully for one family may look completely different for another. 

We urgently need regulations; we need higher standards; we need to hold sleep consultants accountable. Parents deserve to know that their children are safe in this industry. 

Sleep advice found on social media

I’m extremely concerned by the volume of misinformation about sleep training and baby sleep in general on social media.

There is so much noise out there it can be so overwhelming for parents to know what advice to trust and follow. So many accounts will use fear-mongering tactics to scare parents into thinking that they are the reason their child isn't sleeping, that they’ve created bad habits, or their child is overtired, or the lack of sleep will cause developmental delays (which we know is just not true when we look at the research). 

Why I don’t use traditional sleep training methods. EVER.

Traditional sleep training comprises techniques that have forced or timed parental withdrawal of support, like cry-it-out or controlled crying (the Ferber Method), for example. 

The idea is that by not responding to a child’s cries during sleep, they will learn how to settle and sleep independently.

I avoid these methods because, in all honesty, I’ve just never needed to use them to see massive shifts in sleep or to improve sleep for clients. They are not necessary in making changes to sleep, and the research we now have on attachment and sleep shows this. The fact that sleep consultants still push the idea of sleep training is wild to me – we don’t leave babies to cry during their awake time, so why does the responsiveness stop when it’s sleep time?

I would never judge a parent if they choose to sleep train, It’s their parental right to make an informed decision that’s best for their whānau. I just want families to be aware that it is possible to get better sleep while still being responsive and prioritising attachment with their little one. I see it every day!

Stories I hear from families nearly every day

Sadly, the story is much the same for the majority of the families that come to me seeking support. They have already spent hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on traditional sleep trainers, who claim to use “gentle” methods then give them a copy-and-paste sleep plan with one generic settling method (usually a version of Ferber). If the client doesn’t like this approach, or it doesn’t work then they aren’t offered other options. The sleep consultant will often insist that they just keep persevering and “leave them longer to cry.” This is not sleep support in any shape or form, as far as I’m concerned.

My background and qualifications

I am a certified baby and toddler sleep consultant.  I completed my certification through the Institute of Sensitive Sleep Consulting, and am currently completing the Holistic Sleep Coaching Program under Dr Lyndsey Hookway, which is the most comprehensive and evidence-based infant and child sleep coaching program in the world. I’ve worked with children in various capacities for almost 11 years, including 8 years as a nanny specialising in caring for babies under two.

I take a holistic approach by addressing the actual root causes of a family’s unique sleep challenges and co-create a plan alongside them that feels right for them and that they are comfortable with. All the strategies I use are responsive, attachment-focused and developmentally- and age-appropriate. I do extensive assessment and analysis upon intake and during our consultation to look at red flags, health, temperament, sleep needs, emotional needs, sensory preferences, connection, attachment, sleep associations, environment, settling and the preferences/needs/values/culture of the whānau, among many other things. This gives me a foundation to be able to provide meaningful, informed and effective support that is tailored to each family and their little one.

Sleep is not one-size-fits-all!